Okay, so I never look at my phone when I’m at home or really ever sorry not sorry.
So I check it out of no where and I see I have a message from my mom asking me what I’m doing and because she is home and usually just checks on me I’m thinking this is very strange. So I see when she has sent the message and it was about 30 minutes ago and I pause what I was watching and scroll back to 30 minutes ago. The characters in the movie are having crazy sex and I’m like…
She probably walked to the door and thought I was watching porn and went back into the living room and texted me
and I replied to her telling her I’m just watching tv and she is now blowing up my phone.
The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear
Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl
I’m a boy
Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight
the nurse gave me some valium before my surgery so i wouldn’t have a panic attack when they tried to put me under and just when it was starting to kick in i met my anesthesiologist, who told me I have the same name as his kid and I just nodded thoughtfully and said ‘we must battle so i can become the alpha’ and my dad nearly fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard